The root of all evil today…

So the only thing anyone is talking about today is what they’re going to do when they hit the Powerball tonight.

Folks are talking about new cars, caviar, four-star daydreams. I think I’ll buy me a football team (which would have to be better than my fantasy team this year).

Now that you have Pink Floyd firmly embedded in your internal iPod, you can think of all the things you might do with that $550 million, before the socialists take a big chunk of it.

Figuring you’d get about $250 million after the cash deduction and taxes, think of what you could do:

You could run Charleston city government for at least a year and a half, you could almost buy a Dreamliner or you could treat 55,000 of your closest fans to 45 Springsteen shows at Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands.

Or, if you’re a Republican, you could hire Ted Nugent and Kid Rock to clean your house and do your yard work for life.

You could probably pay Tom Cruise to do Gangnam Style at least 10 times.

Perhaps you could even pay the ransom on everyone in South Carolina’s bank account and Social Security numbers, ripped off by European mobsters. Of course, who would be stupid enough to think that could work?

But $550 million doesn’t go as far as it used to. Mitt Romney probably spent that much to lose Iowa and New Hampshire – in a month. And it wouldn’t even buy a modern stadium for your new football team.

As for me, I plan to buy Hemingway’s Key West house and then you’ll never hear from me again. Of course, if that sounds like a good idea, take up a collection and buy it for me – I promise I’ll leave.

Otherwise, I’m in the first-class traveling set, I think I’ll buy me a Lear jet.

Since it would be cruel to offer you anything else, here’s today’s music: